Tuesday

 

Tuesday I go in for a rotorooter of my lung. I’ve been having trouble breathing-especially when I take deep breaths. I’ve tried antibiotics, steroids they help a little than back to pain in my shoulder blade area and back. It makes catching my breath difficult. 

To be honest I’ve had loads of surgeries-3 ankles, 6 shoulders and a lung biopsy.  But this one scares me the most. I was scared a year ago when I went in but part of me was always hopeful that I’d get out of surgery and they’d say just kidding you don’t have lung cancer. This time I’m afraid of what they will find or won’t find. That’s always a fear I have is that I’ll go in for surgery and everything will be perfect and I’ll have wasted everyone’s time. (So far it hasn’t happened but it’s still a fear). 

I won’t be out of commission long.  I’ll be back to work on Thursday. I’ll do some meal prepping this weekend so I don’t need to worry about feeding anyone.  Tuesday and Wednesday I’ll watch some trashy tv while the boys wait on me. I’ll eat lots of popsicles, and a little ice cream.  

I know everything will be fine. My doctor is fantastic and I’ll be incredibly happy to breathe again. This won’t be my only procedure this year and I am sure this won’t be the last time they go in to roto rooter my lung.  It’s just part of my new norm.