May always tends to be a hard month in general for me. 26 years ago my life changed forever on May 12th. It started like any other day. I had had my license a month but my dad still wanted me to learn how to drive the truck. He was supposed to pick me up from school that afternoon so I could practice. School ended and I walked around with a friend waiting for the buses to leave. My dad was supposed to be there shortly after. The assistant principal came up and said he was giving me a ride home. I told him I could wait for the late bus or for my neighbor to be done with his club. He insisted that he drive me home. My mom had called and asked him. When we got out of the parking lot he told me that my mom had asked him to bring me to the hospital so that’s where we we’re going.
I thought it was a little strange but honestly the only question I asked was if my cousins had gotten a call (figuring if she had it must be one of our grandparent). When he said she hadn’t heard anything I knew it was either my mom’s side or my mom or dad. When we got to the hospital the rest is pretty much a blur. I remember seeing my mom in a room with some people. I remember hearing he didn’t make it. I remember plans being made to get my sisters home asap. My cousin, uncle, aunt and maybe my nana came over. i remember I couldn’t be in the house with all the people. My boyfriend’s dad came over and picked me up.
It’s weird my dad has been gone 26 years. Somedays I forget what he looked like or sounded like. I still have one of his shirts. I try not to wear it but I do when I am really missing him. When I was in my 20’s I thought as long as I make it past 49 (the age my dad was) I’d be golden. Today I think I hope I make it to 49.
I used to go to the cemetery often. I brought both kids when they were newborns. I wanted them to know about grampie David. And my kids know they have three grandfathers. They ask about Grampie David, I tell them stories and show them pictures.
I can honestly say how lucky I am. My mom met an Incredible guy. She was lucky enough to fall in love again with someone who accepted both me and my sisters. He walked me down the aisle when I got married. He has never tried to take my dad’s place. He loves my kids so much. He can be a little grumpy at times but he would do anything for them. he would drop his breakfast date on Wednesday if he knew I need one of the kids picked up. He says he won’t take them out when they don’t have school. But he’s the first one at mom’s store to offer to take them to breakfast.
Around this time of year I always wonder what my dad would think of things. Would he be proud of who I have become. I know he would have loved to meet Bryan and the boys. I often wonder how much he sees looking down. is He keeping watch over me and my cancer. Is he helping me fight this?
I hope that my kids will always know how much their Grampie David would have loved them. Everyone believes something a little different, but I’m positive my dad is cheering me on through this horrendous fight and will be there every step to guide me.
I love you Daddy!!!!
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