Today

 

Today was one of those days. It started out good nothing exciting. I got a lot finished at work this morning. Flyers, follow up emails, started to clean off my desk, ya know the basics.  

Ran out after lunch and grabbed a Starbucks took a minute there to breathe. Sat with my Pink Drink just thinking.  

Went back to the office to finish up something’s. And that’s when my funk started. Nothing in particular happened. Started thinking more about what is happening in my life.  I tend to let people walk over me. I tend not to speak up for myself and take what people say to heart. I tend to wonder why people are my friends-I can be annoying, I can get hurt easily, I tend to shut down, I forget to text back or call back. I don’t initiate plans because I don’t want to be disappointed. I  believe everything that I am told. I see the best in people. But once I am hurt it takes me awhile to be unhurt. When words have been spoken it takes me a while to unhear them.  

I think some of my funk came from being exhausted. Utterly exhausted. I can not explain how exhausted I am. i thought I was exhausted when I had the boys and after but this is a whole new level.  

I came home and took a nap for two hours (big mistake because now I can’t fall back asleep!) Is my head cleared of all my funk. No. Am I still thinking of all things that need to be done or that I want to do, Yes. 

When I woke up I ate some candy and promised myself I won’t binge candy again until my birthday. And for my birthday I’m getting myself a big bag of fruity tutty jelly beans and banana laffy taffy!  But until October I’m stopping the candy.  

Tomorrow will be a better day.  Tomorrow I won’t be in a funk.