Words.

 

Sometimes I think what did I do to deserve Stage Iv lung cancer. Or what didn’t I do that I should have done. Should I have listened more when people needed me?  Should I have checked in on people more? Should I not have walked away when I knew I was getting hurt?

I’ve been called a lot of things especially when I worked as a case manager/mentor. Those words didn’t bother me. The kids would express their anger and most times come back and apologize. Yesterday I was called a horrible person, selfish and inconsiderate (by someone I haven’t talked to in awhile because I have been focusing on myself and my family).  I like to think that I am a phone call away, that yes I don’t always reach out but my friends are never far fron my mind. I like to think that if a friend reaches out I am there to help.  These aren’t words that I would normally use to describe myself. But if one person thinks this do others. Is this the why it happened to me?  I have to remind myself that they are just words. Words I shouldn’t listen too. Words I shouldn’t give a second thought too. Words I don’t have the energy to fight back at. Words that I shouldn’t have to fight back at. 

The whole point of this is remember the words you speak today could be your last words to that person. They say “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  But words do hurt. Words are not forgotten. Choose your words wisely, because once you have said them you can’t take them back. If you are mature enough you can apologize and realize that yes you might be feeling these thing a but an apology needs to be made. and if you are lucky enough the words you spoke will be forgiven.