That statement can be taken so many ways. Sometimes silence is a good thing. You need it to clear you mind, find out what is really going on. Other times silence shows you who is really there for you. Sometimes silence shows what someone is really feeling.
Throughout this journey I found that silence shows me who is really there. Who I can count on. I fully admit that I am not a good friend. I forget to text back, I read the text and then I see something shiny and get distracted. I am not the one to pick up the phone to call and check in on my friends. (I find it ironic that I used to have to wait until 9:00pm to make a free phone call. Now I can make them all day and I don't want too!). But I hope my friends know if they ever need anything I will be there in a hot second. Need to vent, call me. Need to cry, I have a shoulder. Need someone to watch your kids. I've kept my two feed and happy I can handle a third for a couple of hours. Need someone to investigate the guy you met online...I should have been a detective.
Silence particularly hurts when you think you have a good relationship with someone. Someone that you used to text frequently, someone that when you ran into them you hugged and caught up for more than a quick hi.
We all have our battles that we are facing. We all have our busy schedules and busy lives. I get that. But silence over months and months hurts. Could I reach out of course I could. Have I tried to reach out of course I have. But eventually the silence comes back, so I stop reaching out.
On a different note...Saturday I am walking to raise money for Lung Cancer Awareness. Its a small thing that I can do to bring light to this horrible disease. The money I have raised has helped fund three researchers for a year. Which is amazing. Do I wish I could have done more, of course I do. Do I think I did the best I could have done fundraising...not at all. I could have reached out to those that donated last year or friends that we grew up with, but there's that silence again. Will I be happy with the amount of money that I raised...yes, but I can still be disappointed it wasn't more.
With two days left I am raising the white flag for fundraising. I posted my last post today about it. November 1st starts a month of Lung Cancer Awareness. I don't want my social media to be strictly Lung Cancer, but how else do I get the word out? How else do I advocate so that people can see how serious this is?
And just when I think that I am not going to cry, my nephew texted me a picture of him and his soccer team with white ribbon tattoos on their hands, and tape around his wrist saying noone fights alone! Love you Karl!!!!
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