I don’t know if anyone reads this. And I’m okay if people don’t. But it’s a way for me to express what I am going through. As well as to go back and see what I’ve been through. I want my boys to see the strength and struggles and how hard I’m fighting.
I had my spinal tap on Thursday. The procedure was super easy and painless. Going into it I was scared beyond belief. The thought of have an epidural like needle going into my scared the living out of me. But honestly I didn’t feel anything. The doctor that did it was super calming. He explained the whole thing. Even said he didn’t think that they would find anything. That my scans all looked positive. one of the first things they did was check my spinal fluid pressure. The doctor had said that he didn’t think it would be high and expected it to be on the lower side. Turns out he was wrong.
I went through the procedure and recovery and headed home without any problems. My head pressure had subsided significantly I felt good.
I came home laid on my back some more did exactly what they told me to do. By that night the head pressure was coming back full fledge. Around 4:30 my cell phone rang a number didnt recognize. So I let it go to voicemail. Turns out it was Dr Piper to talk about preliminary results. Dr Burke had already messaged me that she was looking into medication choices as well as a consult with a neurosurgeon. The pressure is to elevated.
anyways back to Dr Piper-they found abnormal cells in my spinal fluid. He called to tell me this and to go over my options. Basically the first defense is to increase my Tagrisso. He is bringing it to the cancer board on Monday to see what other recommendations they have.
Friday morning was bad. My head pressure was off the charts. I reached out to Dr Burke who said I would be getting call from the neurosurgeon. Sure enough as soon as I put the phone down the call came in. Asking to see me at 1:30 that afternoon.
So down to Burlington we went. By the time we got there all they needed was my okay and the surgery was ready to go. I had preop dates, surgery dates, etc all planned out. The neurosurgeon was great. We went over the risks, benefits, etc. Unfortunately, I am not a good candidate for the medication because of family allergies and there is no guarantee that those medications will help.
I talked with my regular neurologist who said that we knew they would find cancer in my spinal fluid. This didn't come as a shock to anyone (except for me.) She said it didn't matter how much there was (but for the record they found 35 atypical cells).
So here I am Sunday night, crying because I am scared of having a shunt put into my brain. Crying because I have more cancer in my back. And just waiting for doctors to call or check in. I am sure that everything is going to be okay. I have some of the best doctors on my side! If they didn't think this was necessary then they wouldn't have suggested it. But it's still scary.
I just want to know that the kids are going to be okay. I know Bryan is able to handle everything but I am so scared how the kids are going to react. Both boys know, they know I will be in the hospital for a couple of days. If you are the praying type please keep my family close. I am not done fighting this fight! I still have a lot to give.
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