As many of you know I had my mri lumbar this week. Tuesday I showed up for the mri, they did my shunt test (I have to have it checked before and after every mri). And I asked if they were going to access my port for the mri contrast. She said that would require someone from the iv team to come down. I explained that last time I was there they couldn’t find a good vein and it took 6 tries to get the iv in.
So the iv specialist was called down To access my port. Three pokes she tries to flush it and sent me through the roof. I asked her to take it out and find someone else to help. Which she agreed To do. Along comes Kay who said she would rather not access my port for a fourth try and she was going to look for a vein with the ultrasound. Kay for the win-one poke into my arm and the iv was started. And there I waited until they could get me in. See when your appointment is at 2:30 and you don’t get your iv until 3:30-3:45 you have to wait with your anxiety.
4:00 I was called back for the mri which didn’t take long. The anxiety was real with this one. See a side effect of chemo is neuropathy-and the neuropathy is what lead to my diagnosis of LMD. So I panic when my legs feel worse or different. My legs have been weaker as the days/weeks go by. The reality is I now have a cane, walker, rollator and wheelchair for when I go out. I can’t walk barefoot because it feels like pins and needles and causes me more pain.
Anyways onto the results…I had a headache for most of the week last week. I had my fluids on Wednesday. Thursday was a big day at work, my coworker retired so we had an open house. Thursday afternoon I got the results we’ve all been waiting for. The chemo is working~I didn’t have any further progression. It didn’t get any better but it didn’t get any worse. That’s exactly what we wanted. We don’t want any further progression.
Friday I met with my neurologist and my neurosurgeon. Who both reported that they are happy with no progression. I haven’t checked in with Dr P, I see him a week from today. I don’t know what dr Burke said about the tests that she ran in the office. A part of me doesn’t want to know if things are getting worse.
The shock of my conversation with Dr P has dwindled. It’s not all that I think about now. I still think about it constantly, but I am not panicking as much as I was. Do I still wake up and think is today going to be the last day I feel really good. Do I still think about how scared I am to leave my boys, or how Bryan is going to be. How is my mom and sisters going to be. How will I know when the end is near? These are all things I am working on in therapy.
I go for another scan on Monday of the brian and lungs. Here’s to another stable scan in the books..
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