Rough week

 

It’s been a rough week.  The infusion last week has left me weak, tired, nauseous you name it ive probably felt it.  My mental state has been in the tanker.  I’m trying.  

But here are some things to remember this week…

It’s summer…say yes.   Ice cream for dinner-sure, don’t want to watch your brothers baseball game yes you can go to the park and play.   

I’ve been using my handicap placard more.  Just because you can’t find a close parking space doesn’t make you handicap.   Just because you are sitting in your car doesn’t make it okay to park there. There are people that really need it. 

Find good in every day.  This week my good has been literally getting out of bed and getting dressed.  And that's okay if that’s all it is some days.  

This one I am still struggling with…who cares…let it go….You see I’ve been using a wheelchair this week and the looks I am getting make me sad.  Should I care…no….do I care?   Yes.   Teach your kids that you can’t always see disabilities.  Teach your kids that it’s okay to be different.  Teach your kids to ask questions rather than stare.  Id rather them ask me if I am okay.   Or ask my son if I am okay.  But staring makes the teaching moment awkward for everyone.  Although, I’ve lost my filter I’m not going to go up to your kid and use it as a teaching moment.  So as a parent try too.   Yesterday was a hard day with the stares.  Showing up is hard most days but when I am stared at it makes it that much harder.  I haven’t changed I’m still the same person that you knew before my cancer.  

Tell those that you love that you love them.   Thank them for everything.  

It’s okay to ask for help.  People want to help.  It’s also okay to offer help.  Because those of us that need help don’t always know what needs to be done.  

it’s okay to cry.  It’s okay to cry in front of  the kids.  In fact it’s probably healthy to cry in front of the kids.  They need too see the emotions and know it’s okay to show them.  

It’s okay to think that life sucks sometimes.  To not understand the why.   It’s okay to be angry and mad and sad and confused.  But I can not dwell on these things.  I need to focus on the good that I have had in my life and continue to have.  My family, my husband, my boys, my friends, these are the things that I live for everyday.  These are things that I continue to fight for everyday.  

Thank you to everyone that has reached out this week and checked on me.  I love you all!