can you believe Christmas is next week? It comes the same time every year-yet every year it sneaks up on me. Like I dont expect it to come so soon. The kids have a few more things on their wish list-we will see where they are at the end of the week. I know it will all be okay-but a part of me worries it won’t come together.
I have had numerous people reach out and ask how they can help or what the kids want. Honestly, they don’t need anything with the exception of listening ears and not having a teenage attitude…lol. I tend to shut down when people ask because I am embarrassed I am ashamed and I don’t like to ask for help.
If this journey has taught me anything it is people want to help anyway they can. From meals, to rides, to play dates, to holiday helping, to gift cards for meals/groceries. There isn’t a gesture that hasn’t gone unnoticed. Through an unfortunate life changing situation we have learned who our tribe is. We have learned who was, is and always be in our corner. And sadly it isn’t always who we expect it to be. Sadly it isn’t always the “life long friends” we thought we knew. Sadly, it isn’t always the ones we stood by through thick and thin.
I am still coming to terms that i am starting my last treatment option soon. That although my scans are stable I am still at the end of treatment. My psychiatrist asked me today what I needed in this journey-I need my family to know that I fought with everything I had. That I want to be present for the kids but the toxicity of Ami was to much. That I wasn’t giving up on them I was giving up on the Ami so I could be present for them. I want them to know that I’m at peace with my decision. I am okay with this being the beginning of the end. I want to make good core memories with and for them.
I have debated posting our Christmas wishlists. But since I don’t know how to respond when people ask it’s easier for me to post it. We don’t expect anything and the kids will be thrilled with what’s under the tree. As a family we like to go to the 99, the kids enjoy Pokémon cards, legos, target and adventures. We enjoy a treat from Starbucks and Bryan and the boys enjoy playing video games.
Mom and dad (and Roxie too): https://www.amazon.com/registries/gl/guest-view/3RIQ6KMF78EEM?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_ggr-subnav-share_8C0R6G32ZKEXRKD217WQ
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