Three years…where did it go? Three years ago tomorrow is the day my life changed forever. Friday the 13th. Never believed in superstition-now I can’t say I don’t.
It’s a hard day. It’s a day I know I can never get back. It’s a day that I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when I got that phone call. Funny thing is-I was talking to my mil today- we both can tell you exactly where we were-but I can’t tell you where the kids ended up before we got home that day. It’s a day that I can say before diagnosis and after. Or since my diagnosis. There is a hard line in the sand with that day. Before and after. Healthy and sick.
It’s a day I want to celebrate-but at the same time a day I want to forget and hide in bed. Why celebrate? I’ve made it three years! Three years of meds, scans, pokes, talks, tears, fears. Three long years. Three years of telling my story to raise awareness. Three years of meeting people who are just like me (young, nonsmokers with lung cancer diagnosis). Three years of answering the same questions…no I never smoked, no my parents/family never smoked.
Three years of trusting my life in a strangers hands. Three years of holding my breath with every scan I have done. Three years of hoping this is all a nightmare I’ll wake up from. But then realizing it’s someone’s dream to have these three years.
So here’s to another three years (I’d rather 30 but I’ll take 3)! Here’s to celebrating tomorrow with fluids (maybe add in some magnesium-because I’m always low) and an egg salad sandwich with extra pickles. It’s the little things in life…
Here’s to smiling throughout the day and reminding myself it’s okay to cry and to give myself grace if that’s what I need.
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